Dating after a breakup: Are your standards too high?

Heartbreak caused by a recent breakup can be detrimental to future relationships. While having someone to lean on can help, you may be doing more harm than good by dating after a breakup. Especially so if you jump into the next relationship without taking the time to heal. Best Dating Sites Today is here to help you navigate the world of post-breakup dating.

Is it ok to date right after a breakup?

The answer to this question is not universal. This is true as it highly depends on your mental state, as well as your previous relationship. As some people need more time to get over their ex-partner, the time needed to start dating again in a healthy way varies. In other words, you will have to examine whether you are ready for a new relationship or not.

A couple at a train station.
Are you really ready?

Some things to pay attention to include

  • Your emotions for your ex and the new person
  • How invested you were in your previous relationship
  • Did you get to dedicate some time for yourself

When it comes to emotions, breakups make the vast majority of people more emotional and lonely. This loneliness can be confused for affection for another person. While it is nice to have someone to lean on in your time of need, you also need to be fair. Would you like to be with a person who hasn’t dealt with the emotions they have for someone else? You should give the same grace to the other person.

Tips for moving on

A breakup isn’t easy to get through. You will probably need some time to get yourself back together, especially if the relationship was committed and you had plans for the future. Still, you need to understand this is normal. You have lost someone who meant a lot to you, and it will be difficult to get back into the swing of things.

Allow yourself to be sad. Cry if you need to and talk or journal about your emotions. Dedicate some time to yourself exclusively. Give your body and mind the attention they need. However, don’t isolate yourself for too long.

A woman crying in bed and eating candy.
Sadness is a natural part of moving on.

Reflect on your relationship to stop idealizing it. Nobody is perfect, and yes, that includes your ex. Talk to your friends and listen to their opinions about your situation. Ask them to be as objective as they can, so you can learn what you need to change in your behavior. Also think about what you need to consider in your partner, and how to recognize warning signs in the future.

Finally, don’t allow your sadness to keep you away from the things you enjoy for a long time. Sometimes you have to fake til you make it. Still, actively pursuing things that make you happy will help you feel like yourself again. Who knows, maybe you’ll get an idea for your first date too.

How soon should you date after a breakup?

The general consensus states that you will need more time the longer the relationship lasted. However, the time you will need to move on depends heavily on the level of commitment in your previous relationship. A long relationship that has been on the rocks for a while is going to be easier to get over than a shorter one in which emotions were more intense.

In other words, dating after a breakup has less to do with the time that passes and more with you being ready. Some people use rebound relationships as a coping mechanism. Yet, we can’t recommend that as not dealing with a breakup properly will only prolong and increase your suffering.

Illustration of a healing heart.
You will be okay.

Dating after a breakup – a short how-to

Don’t be ashamed of taking things slowly once you’re ready to date again. Consider online dating at first, as it can help you get back into the swing of things gradually. Find a reliable dating site and take all the time you need to get to know someone better before committing. Being back on the dating scene can make it clear that you aren’t ready to date again yet, and that is absolutely okay. Remember, you are a complete person all by yourself too.

There are some signs you aren’t yet ready. If you catch yourself comparing every person you talk to to your ex, maybe you should take some more time to yourself. The same goes for thinking about them often or mentioning them to your new partner. Not being emotionally ready is a valid reason for staying away from dating. It can also save you and the person you’re dating a lot of heartaches.

Being in a relationship can be a source of great joy, However, it isn’t mandatory for a happy and fulfilled life. Learn to listen to yourself, and only commit when you’re really ready, whether it takes months, days, or years.