Second date questions and conversation starters

So, you’ve arranged for that second date. This is great! It means you both like each other enough to want to spend some more time together. It also means you’ll be less nervous and can focus on learning more about the other person. We have provided some second date questions to make sure things go well.

10 questions to ask on a second date

First dates are usually dedicated to deciding if you want to keep seeing your date. They truly aren’t the time to dig deep into their past, family life or beliefs. Still, all these things are important and can make or break a relationship. The second date is a good time to start asking some real questions and learning about your date’s background. Still, you don’t want to be too nosy or pry for information. That’s why you need to balance serious and more relaxed and/or silly questions. Best Dating Sites Today prepared some questions you can ask on a second date.

A couple smiling, the woman is holding flowers.
Congratulate yourself! Your date likes you!

Serious second date questions

What is your family like?

A person’s relationship with their family is very important, as it can give you an insight into what they expect from a partner and what they want to avoid in a relationship.

How long was your longest relationship?

You don’t want to outright mention their former partner. Try to learn about the ex through questions about your date’s previous relationships. If they confide more about the relationship – great! You now know a bit more about them. If they’re quiet – you still know you’ll probably have some issues to work through.

What’s your opinion on marriage?

Some people’s opinions on marriage are wildly different. And that’s absolutely okay. Still, you don’t want to find out your partner never plans to get married right before you pop the question or expect them to do so. The earlier you establish your end goal, the better.

Are you into politics?

This may be the most diplomatic way to learn their political stances. As it was with the previous question, it is important to know if you’ll be a good fit in the long run right from the start.

Lighthearted second date questions

Would you rather?

Let your imagination run wild, and don’t be afraid you’ll look silly. Ask them if they’d rather not see colors or not hear music again, or another question more suitable to what you’re currently doing.

Which historical figure would you take to dinner?

This is a fun one! Share the people you find inspiring and why. This way you’ll learn about the other person’s priorities. And possibly a new cool fact.

A couple smiling at a table and holding hands.
Share and listen.

How would your perfect day look?

Learn about their priorities, and see if you’d enjoy sharing their perfect day. At the end of the day, you can’t expect a person who prefers to read or go on a walk to be a party animal.

What were you like as a kid?

This is an endearing question, and it allows your date to revisit favorite childhood memories. Be careful, though – if you have any reason to think this is a sensitive topic – better to be safe than sorry.

Bonus second date questions!

Show you remember what they told you. Ask for more detail about topics you’ve started on the first date. This way you’ll get more information, and they’ll know you’ve actually listened.

5 Things to Talk About on Your Date

You don’t have to turn your date into a Q&A session. In fact, it’s much more natural to start chatting and allow the conversation to flow. Here are some ideas

Talk about your plans

Let your date know you have at least some vision of your future. This will enable you both to see if you’d like to share that future and get more serious.

Talk about current events

This is a slippery slope to negativity, but you can absolutely turn it into an exchange of lessons you’ve learned from the current state of the world.

Mention the important things in your life

It’s always endearing to hear someone share what they appreciate. Let your date see your priorities, and they’ll probably share a story or two. Some good examples include

  • Family members
  • Friends
  • Pets
  • Favorite music, books and movies
A couple sitting and eating ice cream.
Tell them what’s important to you.

Talk about your favorite places

Whether you’re only dreaming about visiting this place, or you’re a regular, exchange what you particularly like about places you hold dear.

Start opening up about the hard stuff

This is not an invite to complain and overwhelm your date. However, if you feel comfortable enough you can share some of the difficulties you are currently facing. Watch their reaction carefully to be sure you’re not making things uncomfortable.

Second date rules

While there are no rules set in stone for second dates, some people need at least some pointers. This is especially true for those who haven’t dated in a while and feel out of the loop. Here are some guidelines to make things go smoother.

Be more open. Your date wants to learn more about who you are as a person. No one is perfect, and thus, you shouldn’t pretend to be. Additionally, it’s difficult to keep up a polished facade for a long time.

Don’t do the same thing you did on the first date. If you really like this person, you want to create positive memories together. Make your first few dates different from each other or things will get boring really fast.

Find a quiet place. Minimize outside noise so you can focus on each other without distractions.

A couple on a picnic.
Pay attention only to your date.

It is very important to remember you’re not an investigator. You don’t need to ask all the questions at once, and don’t forget to allow your date to chime in with some questions of their own. A general rule is not to ask any questions you wouldn’t answer yourself.

Get closer. Partake in physical affection if you’re both up for it. Holding hands, embracing and going for a kiss on a second date shouldn’t be a taboo. Of course, if you want to pace yourself slower or faster, you can do that too. Go for the amount of physical intimacy you’re both comfortable with and don’t settle for a person who demands more than you’re ready to give.

Finally, don’t forget the most important second date rule: Have fun!